Thursday, July 20, 2006
On The Use Of Safe Words
A key component to a spanking relationship is the practice of using what is commonly known as a safe word (for a Wikipedia article on the subject, click here). This is certainly a wise practice to make sure that the person on the business end of the paddle, so to speak, is not hurting beyond their endurance.
If you read the entire article I link to above, you will note that some couples do not actually use a specific word or gesture, but rather have an understanding as to when the person being spanked is in real distress. This would be a good way to describe the relationship that Angela and I have.
We have never really discussed using a safe word. When we began the spanking part of our lives together, they were entirely for erotic pleasure, so pushing ones limits was never an objective. As the spanking very gradually became more intense, we sort of got a "feel" for the other's tolerance, so we never surpassed it. Therefore, in our relationship, a safe word has never really been required or desired.
In reality, there are certain phrases that clearly communicate it is time to stop. For me, there have been two occasions where I was no longer having fun. The worst was when Angela was wielding a rather thick and long leather strap. I took two or three strokes that were fine. However, on the next one, the end of the strap whipped around to my front and slashed into my genitalia. Before Angela could swing again, I firmly but calmly stated, "My dear, you must please stop immediately!" before collapsing to my knees and whimpering. She immediately recognized that I was truly distressed and ceased immediately. She knows my tone of voice well enough to know the difference between playing and suffering.
My innate feelings for Angela are quite equivelent. Once, I was using a cane and I missed my mark, striking her lower on her thighs than I had intended. Similiar to my response, Angela, in a voice that was easy to interpret, said to me, "HOLY FUCK! YOU LITTLE SHIT! THAT REALLY HURT!" As you can see, Angela is somewhat more explosive than I.
So I now know, althought it may be subtle, that anything stated by her during a spanking in such a manner is an indication that the spanking is not so fantastic.
Note:
I was saddened to see that the lovely and talented Patty has opted to cease publishing her blog, A Creative Spanko Wench. I, for one, shall miss her fine writing and outstanding and very delicate drawing. I wish Patty nothing but the best in all things and I say to her, thank you for all of your wonderful work. Be well, Patty.
If you read the entire article I link to above, you will note that some couples do not actually use a specific word or gesture, but rather have an understanding as to when the person being spanked is in real distress. This would be a good way to describe the relationship that Angela and I have.
We have never really discussed using a safe word. When we began the spanking part of our lives together, they were entirely for erotic pleasure, so pushing ones limits was never an objective. As the spanking very gradually became more intense, we sort of got a "feel" for the other's tolerance, so we never surpassed it. Therefore, in our relationship, a safe word has never really been required or desired.
In reality, there are certain phrases that clearly communicate it is time to stop. For me, there have been two occasions where I was no longer having fun. The worst was when Angela was wielding a rather thick and long leather strap. I took two or three strokes that were fine. However, on the next one, the end of the strap whipped around to my front and slashed into my genitalia. Before Angela could swing again, I firmly but calmly stated, "My dear, you must please stop immediately!" before collapsing to my knees and whimpering. She immediately recognized that I was truly distressed and ceased immediately. She knows my tone of voice well enough to know the difference between playing and suffering.
My innate feelings for Angela are quite equivelent. Once, I was using a cane and I missed my mark, striking her lower on her thighs than I had intended. Similiar to my response, Angela, in a voice that was easy to interpret, said to me, "HOLY FUCK! YOU LITTLE SHIT! THAT REALLY HURT!" As you can see, Angela is somewhat more explosive than I.
So I now know, althought it may be subtle, that anything stated by her during a spanking in such a manner is an indication that the spanking is not so fantastic.
Note:
I was saddened to see that the lovely and talented Patty has opted to cease publishing her blog, A Creative Spanko Wench. I, for one, shall miss her fine writing and outstanding and very delicate drawing. I wish Patty nothing but the best in all things and I say to her, thank you for all of your wonderful work. Be well, Patty.
