Tuesday, March 17, 2009


The Slip

I'm sitting on a sore butt as I write this. Unfortunately, I did not get the sore butt from a spanking.

Maribel has been home for a couple of weeks as her basketball league is having one of it's long pauses. Bernie and I were playing a little two-on-two basketball with Maribel and the boyfriend in our driveway. It was a cool day, but very sunny. The ground around the driveway was pretty muddy, since we'd had about seven feet of rain the previous week, so there was a bit of mud on the court, and a little on my shoe.

I took a pass from Bernie and drove past the boyfriend, heading for what I thought would be an easy layup. Maribel came up behind me and tried to block the layup. She got her hand on the ball, pulling me back somewhat. I kept going and made the layup, but came down a little off balance. When I landed, I slipped on a bit of mud and landed … SPLAT! … right on my rear end.

Being a fat, old guy, at least compared to Maribel and the boyfriend, I landed hard, and immediately leaped up and grabbed my ass because it hurt like hell. Bernie, Maribel, and the boyfriend started to laugh uncontrollably. They laughed so hard and so loudly that Angela, Colette, and even Luke came out to see what all the commotion was about. When they saw me holding my ass, they started laughing, too.

Naturally, I was the “butt” of their jokes for the rest of the day. I did not see the humor. I had a bruised tailbone, but it felt like there was a basketball in my rectum. Sitting was uncomfortable, and when I tried to sleep, I woke up every time that I rolled over. And yet, both of my children have frequently asked me, “How's your butt, dad?” after which they giggle and walk away.

So here I sit, with a perfectly good sore butt that is wasted. Perhaps the next time that Angela spanks me, I can compare it to this to see how it feels different. I feel confident in saying that I prefer spanking to falling any day.

Tuesday, March 10, 2009


...And Odd Ends

A strange occurrence occurred at the Spanko household recently. Shortly after returning from Israel, the cat that we call Cat, since it has always lived on our property for a long as the prior owners could remember (and they lived here for thirty years), recently gave birth to kittens. I had thought this to be impossible. We have, in years past. been able to corral Cat a few times so that we could take her to the vet for shots and a checkup. The vet assured us that Cat had been neutered long ago, and, besides, she was well beyond her kitten-bearing years. And yet, shortly after the new year, Cat took up residence inside the house, which she has never done. She made herself a den in the laundry room on a pile of towels and has spend most of the last two months comfortably ensconced there.

Colette had earlier announced that Cat was expecting, but I did not believe it. But, early last week, cat started following me around and insisted on sitting on my lap whenever I was seated. She seemed to be agitated and would only quiet down when I would rub her tummy. I was concerned that she might be sick. Two days later, Colette came home from school, tossed her coat into the laundry room, said hello to cat, and did a double take. Then she screamed,
“Cat is having kittens!”

I came out of my office and lo
oked in on the situation. Sure enough, there was one tiny, slimy little fur ball laying next to Cat, and a second on it's way. Colette wanted to help Cat in her delivery, but I told her that cats are pretty good at giving birth on their own and, indeed, do not like to be disturbed while doing so. So we let Cat be. She ended up having three little ones, one that is black and white and fluffy, one that is orange and white and fluffy, and one that is almost a teenie, tiny replica of Cat. Mama and babies are doing fine.

We thought that our remaining cat, Princess, might not be pleased with the new additions to our household. However, several hours after C
at had her kittens, Princess walked into the laundry room, sniffed the kittens thoroughly, turned around and walked back into the hallway, and coughed up a hair ball. We took that is acceptance.

So the Spanko household has grown again. We have not decided whether or not we will keep the kittens, or how many we will keep. We did not want to adopt any animals just to replace the two that we had recently lost. We desired to wait until we were ready for new
personalities, new challenges. But we have a couple of months or so to figure that out. At another time, in another place, in another world, these kittens might be considered a miracle. But in the life of an imaginary spanko, these little lives seem to be just another part of daily life. It will, though, be fun to hear the pitter-patter of little paws running around the house again.

An immortal cat. Having kittens. In the house of an imaginary spanko. No, it's not a miracle. It is, however, rather fantastic.

Sunday, March 08, 2009


Odds and Ends

The nice thing about being a computer programmer is that companies almost always need good, experienced computer programmers.

The problem with being a computer programmer is that companies almost always consider computer programmers to be overhead. So, when business slows down, companies look to reduce overhead. Therefore, since computer programmers are overhead, companies will look to reduce the number of computer programmers that they employ.

Right now, business is slow all over. Perhaps slow is not the word. After seven years of the George W. Bush's reckless, credit-induced economic expansion, people are now having to stop spending and pay off the bills. Many are also (gasp!) even trying to save a few dollars. Since most businesses depend on selling something, and since no one is buying, business is almost non-existent

This concludes the Fantastic Spanking Lesson in Economics.

The reason that I mention this is because, since I am a computer programmer, the rumors are almost constant that some or all of my ilk at our client may be released from our responsibilities. Indeed, several whose projects concluded are no longer employed since our client has not initiated any new projects for them to roll on to, and my company did not find any other clients for them to work for (not that they tried very hard). My project is scheduled to conclude at the end of April, and, although there will still be considerable work to do in the area, there are questions as to whether the client will have the money to pay for it. As a result, my job is in jeopardy.

Fortunately, this is really nothing new. There have been rumors and actual reductions aplenty over the last decade or so, and, while I have survived them all, I have always prepared myself for life after my current employer. So now is no different. I have made some contacts, kept my resume up to date, saved a little money, and planned my farewell email. I have taken some training classes in new technologies. And, I could use some time off. So the prospect of unemployment isn't all that scary. It would give me the opportunity to do some maintenance around the house, catch up on my reading, visit some friends, and exchange a few spankings with Angela.

More spankings with Angela? What could be more fantastic than that?

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