Wednesday, October 31, 2007


A Warm Butt For A Cold Day

Something about the onset of cold weather seems to reduce my spanking libido.

Thinking logically, one would assume that it would be just the opposite. The chilled air seems like the perfect time for a nice, warm bottom.

However, we spankos are not a logical bunch.

When the days get short and the skies get gray, I just seem to lose my enthusiasm. Perhaps in a previous life, I was a bear (imagine that, a spanko bear), finding a nice, comfy cave or hollow tree and spending the winter in cozy hibernation. I’m not a skier, a snowmobiler, or a hockey player. I cannot even ice skate. I don’t fancy spending the day standing over a hole on a frozen lake, waiting for a cold fish to gnaw on my line. I like being warm all over, not just on my butt.

Although Angela is not a fan of winter sports, she does enjoy the winter months because she loves to make a nice fire, put on her oversized wool sweaters, crawl under a blanket, and watch movies, read, or listen to music. She also absolutely adores to spank and be spanked. If Angela had her druthers, she druther spend the entire winter with a red rear.

Fortunately for me, this attitude can be contagious.

Take this morning as an example. It was a dreary, chilly morning. I rose early, anticipating a busy day of work. I grumbled whilst waiting for my tea to steep. I growled at my oatmeal. I was in a generally foul mood, and was contemplating returning to bed. After shipping Colette off to school, my darling wife began her preparations. She made quite the production of baking a coffee cake, choosing a movie, and pulling out the blankets, and started a fire. Then she appeared at the door of my office (recall that I work at home), wearing one of her sweaters. And nothing else.

“Why don’t you grab your laptop and join me in front of the fire,” she said. I mumbled something unintelligible. She grabbed my arm, pulled me up, undocked my laptop, and urged me to come with her. Growling and grumbling, I went with her. Even watching her cute little bare butt strolling before me did little to lighten my mood.

I have installed wireless network access throughout the house, so I plopped down on the sofa and returned to my drudgery. After a few minutes, the telephone in my office rang. I cussed, since I had not thought the bring the phone with me.

“Just let it ring,” Angela said. “You have voice mail, let them leave a message.”

I groused something about having to be responsible. At this point, Angela said, “Someone here needs a spanking.” At this point, she produced a wooden hairbrush, seemingly out of thin air. Sometimes I think that she carries a hairbrush in her, well, let’s just say in a spot where my two children resided for nine months. “Let’s go, buster!” She said, pointing to her lap.

I was not really in the mood to be playful, but when my love calls me “Buster” I know that she means business. Besides, she can read me pretty well so I trust her to take care of me.

It was not a long or a hard spanking. Angela tugged down my sweat pants (no sense getting dressed up to work from home), and began with a few fairly soft taps. They only stung a little, and instantly made me feel warmer, so I relaxed somewhat. She gradually increased the intensity, then wrapped up with about a half-dozen real sizzlers. When she concluded, she gave my butt a nice rub. I felt much better and less grumpy. She was right. I did need a spanking.

Afterwards, I made more tea, and we enjoyed the coffee cake. Then Angela snuggled up against me and she watched her movie as I watched my laptop. The day suddenly seems more pleasant. I no longer wish to return to slumber. Despite the poor weather, I feel much better.

You might even say that I feel fantastic.

Saturday, October 20, 2007


Frank Says Thanks

I wanted to pass along the results of “Love Our Lurkers” day here at Fantastic Spanking.

As you recall, as an added incentive to encourage you to leave a comment last Saturday, I suggested that you leave a good way that I could be spanked, promising to have Angela spank me in just such a fashion. One loyal reader accepted this challenge, recommending that I receive six stroked with a cane on my bare bottom.

Without telling Angela where I got the idea, I requested that my dear wife spank me this way. She was more than happy to oblige. However, she felt that a mere six strokes was insufficient to make an impression upon me.

Therefore, I was first warmed up with a hairbrush whilst draped over the back of a chair for five minutes. Then I received my six cane strokes whilst I was touching my toes. Angela then concluded by delivering twenty-five strokes to my deliciously-sore bottom with a wooden paddle.

I’d like to thank all of the readers who commented. It was good to hear from some new people, and I shall respond to you shortly. It was especially nice of the reader to suggest such a nice spanking. My spanking was fantastic.

Sunday, October 14, 2007


No Spanking Zone

For those of you who have followed this literary attempt from the beginning, you will know that I have never struck my children, nor has their mother. Now, please don’t take me for a militant anti-spanker. Whilst I understand that some may disagree, I do not see any harm in the occasional swat on the butt of a recalcitrant youngster. Like any other form of discipline, I feel that, if used appropriately, consistently, and sparingly, the infrequent spanking, or even the threat of same, can be an effective way to convince a child that his or her behavior is not to be tolerated. And, like any other form of discipline, if used too often, too painfully, or too erratically, can also be abusive. I could go on, but it is not my intention to discuss the pros and cons of corporal punishment.

Now Frank, you any ask, if that is your belief, why have you never spanked your children?

Go ahead and ask. I’m waiting.

“Frank, if that is your belief, why have you never spanked your children?”

I’m glad you asked.

I am a card-carrying spanko. I derive considerable sexual pleasure out of being spanked, out of spanking someone, and of observing someone else get spanked. I like my spankings long and hard, the harder the better. My favorite implements are flat, wooden, and painful. My spouse and the love of my life (those are the same person in case you weren’t sure) shares my spanking interest. Our idea of a good day is one where we take turns walloping each other’s naked backsides until they are bright red and bruised, and then making love whilst kneading and squeezing those backsides.

Therefore, I am completely and totally petrified at the thought that I might decide to paddle one of my children not because they deserve it but because it would bring some enjoyment to my bulbous crotch region, as Dana Carvey used to say.

I can think of nothing that would screw a child up more than being spanked by their parents for their (the parent’s) pleasure. To me, that would clearly be abuse.

In all fairness, I would not necessarily object if, for an appropriate reason, that another, say a teacher or a babysitter, were to warm the seat of one of my childrens’ pants. Nor do I categorically object if other parents spank their offspring.

When Maribel was born, Angela and I discussed this at length. She does not think that I would ever spank our children for my own benefit. She does not, however, want anyone else spanking them. She feels that spanking is a form of punishment that should be reserved for parents only. She thinks our children are perfect and therefore have never deserved to be spanked.

As luck might have it, our school district is one that has officially banned any form of corporal punishment. Teachers and administrators are not allowed to employ paddles, straps, canes, or any other butt-punishing implement. Also, again due to good fortune (some would say due to good parenting but I know better), our children have always been fairly well-behaved. They’ve had their share of missteps, but we’ve always felt the most important thing was to make them be responsible for their actions. That was why, when I discovered that Maribel and some friends poured several buckets of mud into the car of a person whom they disliked, I made her spend the next weekend cleaning out said car, and also had her wash that same car for a month afterwards.

Please don’t think that, just because I am imaginary, that I am a perfect parent. I am the person who has taught his children several interesting ways to irritate their mother because it amuses me. I also have been known to show them how to plant little “creatures” on their teachers’ computers, things that fill up their screens with images of insects or monsters until they figure out how to disable the program. I have even threatened my children with everything from boiling in acid to running their pets through a meat grinder. Fortunately for me, the youngsters are pretty adept at determining which threats of mine are idle.

Also fortunately for me, when my parenting leaves something to be desired, I have a wife who will spank me. And that, my friends, is fantastic.

Saturday, October 13, 2007


The Time To Lurk No More

Whilst I may be, as the old saying goes, a day late and a dollar short, I felt that I could not use that as an excuse to not participate in what has become known as "Love our Lurkers" Day. As you probably know, Love Our Lurkers Day is an annual event whereby we, the spanking bloggers of the world, both real and imaginary, ask you, our loyal readers, to take a moment and leave us a comment to say "hi."

Bloggers love comments. It makes us feel famous. Some may disagree with that statement. They say that they just want some feedback to know that someone is actually reading what they write. However, there are tools that we can use that assure us that many people at least are stopping by for a look. What we really want is someone to say "Hey, I know you! You're that imaginary spanking guy! I love your stuff" (or words to that effect). We crave recognition. We desire to be noticed. We'll even settle for the occasional bitch, as in complaint (for those of you who may have thought I was referring to something else).

Today is the day to give us what we crave the most, besides a spanking. Especially if you are not given to leaving feedback, we ask you, the viewing public, to leave a word or two. It does not have to be much.

As a way of offering a helpful suggestion, if you are not sure what to write, you could simply say what kind of spanking that would be most appropriate for me, Francis Spanowiak, imaginary spanko and blogger extraordinaire, to recieve. No reason is necessary. Leave as many or few details as you wish. As an added incentive, I will request of my lovely wife, Angela, that I receive that spanking, although I shall not tell her from where I obtained the suggestion.

So, please, take the opportunity to comment here, and at other fine sites that are participating in Love Our Lurkers Day. I'm sure that you will find the experience fantastic.

Saturday, October 06, 2007


Frank Suggests....

It is unusual for me, your favorite imaginary spanko, to bring attention to something more real-worldly. Today, however, will be one of those times.

One of the key interests for anyone with an interest in the spanking arts is the human bottom. After all, by definition, you cannot have a proper spanking without one. Many dedicated spankos, and a considerable number of non-spankos I should add, are ardent admirers of a fine fanny. During my research into all things spanking (with apologies to the author of the fine blog, All Things Spanking), I have encountered a web site that pays homage to this particular part of the anatomy.

Cu-Cu’s Blog is a site dedicated to the beauty of the butt. Do not be alarmed by the obligatory content warning that the good folks at Blogger have deemed necessary to present us with. This site features a wide variety of lovely and artistic photographs and drawings of the tush. The site features primarily female bottoms, but will occasionally offer a treat to those who prefer male buns. All of the pictures are tastefully done, with no gratuitous genital shots to distract from the primary attractions.

Although each picture is followed by a link to another site that might wish to obtain some of your hard-earned cash, the links are gentle and unobtrusive so, again, as to not distract from the beauty of the pictures. There is little commentary from the author. She (or he, I’m not sure) allows her choice of pictures to speak for her (or him).

Cu-Cu, whom I’m guessing resides in Brazil, updates the site daily, adding several pictures to the already-impressive collection. I was particularly struck by the variety of ways that the author finds to display the tush. The site is not just an amassing of pretty girls with nice, tight posteriors. There are drawings, photographs of objects d’art, bodies in motion, elegant drawings, cartoons, and bottoms of all shapes and sizes.

I found Cu-Cu’s to be an especially unique site, and I believe that you will find it so, too. After all, how can a site that is dedicated to the display of Gluteus Maximus be anything but fantastic.

Wednesday, October 03, 2007


Statistics, Spanko Style

Whilst I haven’t finished my recap of our vacation, which Angela and I spend all alone at our house with no offspring present, I thought I’d give you a quick spanking summarization of that week. Being a person of a technical bent, I thought I’d provide you with some numbers.

Total Spankings for Week: 56
Number of spankings that I received: 31
Number of spankings that Angela received: 25
Number of times that I was tied up: 3
Number of times that Angela was tied up: 2
Number of different implements used during the week: 12
Large Paddle
Small Paddle
Wooden Rod
Heavy Strap
Smaller Strap
Plastic Paddle
Garlic Breadstick (don’t ask)
Number of times that Angela and I engaged in sexual intercourse: None of your damn business.
Total Number of swats that I received (estimated): 4000
Number of outdoor spankings: 1
Number of spankings that involved more than one implement: 36
Number of different positions that I was spanked in: 9
Number of different rooms where one of us were spanked: 5
Average number of hours we spent naked each day (not including sleeping): 4.5
Number of movies we watched whilst naked: 4

As you can clearly see, it was a busy week. Despite all of the spanking activity, when we weren’t naked we actually did manage to leave the house almost every day.

The days since have been spent in more mundane fashion: working, shopping, raising our children. There have been some spankings (there are always spankings), but they have been less noteworthy, mostly your basic bend-over-for-a-few-swats variety when we have a few moments to ourselves. I’m thinking of sending my offspring for vacations more often, but I’m afraid that they might catch on. Then again, they may not care.

Should you be interested in any other statistics from our week of spank, feel free to leave a comment and I will be most pleased to provide them. I think that providing data for the general study of spanking would be most fantastic.

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