Saturday, September 26, 2009


Preferences Meme: Second Half Begins

26.Would you rather be spanked by a stranger or by someone who knew you well?
Perhaps at one time in my life, I might have found it exciting to receive a spanking from someone whom I did not know. What adolescent spanko has not thought about being caught by an attractive woman (or man if that is your cup of tea) in some improper or illegal activity, and then taken to someplace private where their trousers are lowered and their bottom punished? Alas, these tend to be the the stuff only of fantasies, even for an imaginary spanko. These days, I wish to be spanked by someone who knows my preferences, my limits, my desires. Angela and I have been spanking each other for about twenty-five years. We are comfortable with each other. She knows just how to spank me. If someone else were to spank me, they would have to be similarly familiar with what I like. So I would rather be spanked by someone who knows me.

27.Would you rather be spanked by despotic, mean person or by a compassionate, benevolent person?
I found this quite a difficult question to answer, as the two choices are at the extreme opposite ends of the spanker continuum, and neither sound to me like a preferable spanking partner. My ideal spanker would not be one of the above, but rather someone who is insistent without being oppressive, who would take charge of the situation, and would show my butt no mercy. However, the other option to me sounds way too soft and squishy. I would certainly not want to be spanked by the a "this will hurt me more than it will hurt you" kind of person. It would feel like I was being spanked by Mrs. Brady. Yuck!

Using this logic, my ideal spanker would be closer to the mean end of the spectrum rather than the benevolent end. Therefore, given the above choices, I would prefer to be spanked by a mean, despotic person.

28.Would you rather be talked to while you are spanked or no talking at all?
In my relationship with Angela, I really do not have a choice here. I do not think that Angela could be quiet while she is spanking me if she had a mouthful of cotton. Her favorite lines are, "Does that hurt?" and "How does that feel?" She also likes to remind me just how red my butt is turning. Were she silent, I think it would feel like something was amiss, so I must say that I would prefer to be talked to whilst being spanked.

29.Would you rather get one swat at a time with pauses to let the sting set in or a continuous tanning to build up the fire?
This would be an easy questions to avoid by not specifying a preference, but, again, I made a commitment to choose an answer. This question will require a bit of consideration in order to do so. The cadence of a spanking really depends on the implement used as well as the the position. The reason for the spanking is also part of the equation. If being spanked with a larger implement, especially a paddle, I prefer a slower rhythm, waiting until the pain of the previous swat has begun to wane before getting another. With a smaller tool, I'd rather be spanked rapidly. If I am standing, I prefer the spanking to be slower. If laying down or draped over something, I like a speedier thrashing. If Angela and I reach a state of considerable arousal, the spanking will increase in tempo until we are both out of breath. After a long paddling, the last few swats might be very deliberate, with the usual questions between swats ("Have you learned your lesson yet?", "Are you sore enough?", "Are you going to do that again?") and the swats being especially hard.

With all of those different scenarios, when swat comes to spank, I am what has been referred to as a "pain slut." I like my butt to be as hot as possible, and I like it to be hot as long as possible. I like the soreness to build up to an exquisite cresendo. So, while I may find it enjoyable for a spanking to start or end with deliberate whacks, the most painful part is when the swats come rapidly. So, now that all things have been considered, I prefer to a continuous tanning to slower swats.

Wednesday, September 23, 2009


First Half Meme Summary

For those of you who wish to know my answers to the first half of the fifty question meme that I have been entertaining you with over the past dozen or so posts, but do not wish to actually read those posts, today, as a public service, I shall briefly summarize my answers thus far. This also allows me to have material for a new post without actually having to come up with something original.

1.Would you rather be spanked outside in a cold woodshed or inside by a cozy fire? In a woodshed.

2.Would you rather be spanked in public or in private? In Private

3.Would you rather fantasize about spanking or actually be spanked?I'd rather actually be spanked.

4.Would you rather be spanked for your humiliation or for your spanker's pleasure? For my spanker's pleasure.

5.Would you rather be spanked by hand or by hairbrush? By a hairbrush.

6.Would you rather be spanked by belt or by cane? By a belt.

7.Would you rather be spanked by paddle or riding crop? By a paddle, my favorite implement.

8.Would you rather be restrained or unrestrained during your spanking? Unrestrained

9.Would you rather be spanked until you cried or until you are aroused? Until I am aroused. It is okay to keep spanking me once I am aroused as well.

10.Would you rather have just a red bottom or welts/bruises? I prefer the bruises.

11.Would you rather be spanked for the naughty things you have done or just because you enjoy the experience? Because I enjoy the experience

12.Would you rather be spanked with pants up or pants down? Pants down

13.Would you rather be spanked with undies up or undties down? Down

14.Would you rather be spanked somewhat clothed or entirely naked? Somewhat clothed.

15.Would you rather your spanking be strictly disciplinarian or sexually attractive in nature? Sexually attractive

16.Would you rather be spanked by a male or by a female? Female.

17.Would you rather be cuddled or scolded after your spanking? Cuddled

18.Would you rather be spanked OTK or bent over a table/chair? Bent over a chair or table

19.Would you rather your spanker have physical contact with you? No

20.Would you prefer to be spanked in the woods with a tree branch, bent over the hood of a car, or in a school with a ruler bent over the desk of your teacher/principal? Over the hood of a car

21.Would you rather be a brat to your spanker to deserve a spanking or simply ask your spanker for a spanking because you know you needed it? I'd rather just ask.

22.Have you received a spanking in the past week? The answer is still Yes

23.Would you rather be spanked for the physical pleasure or the emotional release? For the physical pleasure

24.Would you rather tell your best friends you enjoy be spanked or keep it secret? Kept a secret

25.Would you rather spanking be a lifestyle choice or just something you dabble in? A lifestyle choice.

Friday, September 18, 2009


The Meme Hits Middle Age

22.Would you rather be spanked for the physical pleasure or the emotional release?
I would prefer to be spanked for the physical pleasure. I relish the pain and revel in the warmth that lingers after the spanking.

23.Would you rather tell your best friends you enjoy be spanked or keep it secret?
Angela and I prefer to keep our spanking inclanations to ourselves. That being said, our very closest friends are quite aware that we are spankos. Angela has known her best friend, Bernie, since college, and they have no secrets. My best friend currently lives several states away, but we have been buds since we were 13. I've never actually told him of my spanking preferences, but he's a pretty perceptive guy. At my bachelor party, he gave me a beautiful, shiny oak paddle that he made himself. However, Angela and I do not generally volunteer details or our sex life with anyone.

24.Would you rather spanking be a lifestyle choice or just something you dabble in?
Clearly, in my imaginary life, spanking is a lifestyle choice. It is something that Angela and I at least quietly mention virtually every day. We own dozens of spanking implements, several pieces of spanking furniture, and spanking is an important part of our sex life.

This question is worded rather cleverly. If it would have asked if I prefered spanking as a "lifestyle," I would have had difficulty answering. What would constitute a spanking lifestyle? Would one's professsion have to be in spanking? Would one's house be decorated in a spanking motif? However, the question used the term, "lifestyle choice," which, at least to my imaginary mind, means an important part of one's habits, but not the main focus of it.

25.Would you rather your lover be a vanilla or a spankoholic too?
My lovely wife, Angela, is a through-and-through spanko, and I much prefer it that way.

I have often wondered what it would be like if Angela were not a spanko. I was not originally attracted to her because of spanking because when we met, I did not know of her preferences. I thought she was beautiful, interesting, and funny. We shared many non-spanking interests, including computers, sports, and politics. She also liked me, which is always a plus. If Angela were not a spanko, would I still have married her? Yes, I probably would have. Indeed, I fell in love with her after our first couple of dates. We began our sexual relationship after a few weeks of dating, before we knew of each others love of spanking. I actually think that, were Angela not a spanko when we met, she would have accepted my spanking proclivities and attempted to satisfy them.

Should Angela suddenly disappear (this can, after all, happen to imaginary people), at my current age, I do not think I could settle down with a different person who were not a spanko. I've become too set in my ways, too comfortable with my desires. It would be too difficult of an adjustment for me to have a lasting relationship with a woman who did not wish to spank me, and I do not wish to change that aspect of myself.

Tuesday, September 15, 2009


The Meme Returns From A Short Break

18.Would you rather your spanker have physical contact with you?
I had difficulty answering this question because I do not have a strong preference either way. My first impulse was to respond that I would, indeed, rather have physical contact with my spanker. However, upon further reflection, I realized that, given the way I usually prefer to be spanked (bent over, draped over furniture, or laying flat), physical contact might be awkward. Given that, I determined that my preference was that I would rather the spanker NOT be in physical contact with me.

19.Would you prefer to be spanked in the woods with a tree branch, bent over the hood of a car, or in a school with a ruler bent over the desk of your teacher/principal?
I had prepared a longer, more descriptive answer to this question earlier, but, as I mentioned in my last post, my computer crashed and took my response with it to the computer version of never-never land. I have become too frustrated to retype the entire thing, thus I shall summarize. Since the car hood scenario does not mention an implement, I shall assume that the spanker will use a belt.

In woods with tree branch
Pros: Nice outdoor setting; possibility of being caught adds to sexiness.
Cons: Difficult to find ideal location; Tree branch can break or a switch can cut; Risk of being seen can detract from scene; Dirt and leaves can adhere to crucial exposed body parts.

Bent over hood of car:
Pros: Can be done in an outdoor setting, or can be done in garage to insure privacy; Belt is good spanking instrument.
Cons: Possibility of being caught; car hood can be too hot; Might be difficult to find a good location; Oil slicks or exhaust fumes may be disagreeable.

Over Desk with Ruler by Teacher/Principal:
Pros: Preferred position; Can allow for more privacy; Scene can take many different turns; Can be creative with dress.
Cons: Ruler is not especially painful spanking implement; might have problem location a desk; We're not into a scene where the spanker has more "power" (not spanking power).

If the teacher option were with a paddle rather than a ruler, then it would have been the clear-cut choice. However, since I do not care for a ruler as a spanking implement, my choice would be to be spanked over the hood of a car.

20.Would you rather be a brat to your spanker to deserve a spanking or simply ask your spanker for a spanking because you know you needed it?
I would much rather ask for a spanking. I am a man. Men don't "brat."

If you were to ask my darling wife that question, she would probably take you over her knee and give you a good spanking in lieu of a response.

21.Have you received a spanking in the past week?
Is his holiness, The Pope, Catholic? Do fish swim? Does a bear do his business in the woods? Was George W. Bush a terrible president? Okay, that last one might be somewhat subjective.

Yes, I received a very nice spanking this past Sunday, thank-you very much.

Monday, September 07, 2009


On The Topic Of Positions

I had answered three questions for this edition, however even imaginary computers crash, and it took with it two of my answers. So whilst I re-type those answers, I shall delight you with the one response that did not end up in the ether.

17.Would you rather be spanked OTK or bent over a table/chair?From my readings on the world wide interweb, it appears that perhaps the favorite position in which to be spanked is the traditional OTK, or over-the-knee, position. Although certainly not universal, the OTK position is often preferred because of the intimacy that it provides to both the spanker and the spankee.

Which is, perhaps, why I do not like this position. I would prefer to be bent over a table or chair.

You see, spanking is spanking, and intimacy is intimacy. While one may lead to the other, I'd rather they not intertwine. Stimulating other parts of me seems to distract me from the wonders of having my bottom warmed.

Secondly, being spanked over another's knee is, to me, awkward. Unless the spanker is seated on a bed, bench, or sofa, where the spankee can actually just lay across the spanker's lap, the OTK position requires too much balancing, positioning, etc. Unless the spankee is considerably smaller than the spanker, I don't think that this position works.

The last reason why I don't prefer over-the-knee spankings is that they remind me too much of parents spanking young children. I'm not generally opposed to spanking one's children, but I don't wish to get into a discussion of that nature at this time. However, whichever end of the hairbrush I am on, the OTK position makes me feel that the spanker is treating the spankee like a child, or that the spankee is being made to feel like a child. I feel like the spankee is being punished and that the spanking should be unpleasant, neither of which Angela and I practice. We like our spankings to be rewarding and fun.

Further, as I discussed while answering the questions about implements, I enjoy the process of submitting to a spanking. I get more pleasure, more tingles, out of presenting my butt to Angela without the need for her to hold on to me. In addition, when I bend over, it gives Angela a better opportunity to admire my butt (which she does every chance she gets), and to delight in the job she is doing spanking me. Having something to be bent over adds to the pleasure since the spankee has something upon which to lean, thus taking pressure off of the legs. There's nothing more disappointing than having to cut short a good spanking because one's knees, rather than one's butt, hurt too much.

All of that being said, when asked "What is your position on health care reform," I have been known to respond, "Over my knee with her pants down."

But that is certainly a topic for another imaginary blog.

Saturday, September 05, 2009


Spanking Preference Meme: Questions 14 to 16

I'm traveling to The Big City this weekend, but I wanted to leave you with an answer or two rather than have one of my patented week-long pauses, so here are some shorter answers.

14.Would you rather your spanking be strictly disciplinarian or sexually attractive in nature?
I would rather spankings be sexually attractive in nature. The discipline can be used as an excuse for the spanking, but for Angela and me, spankings are part of our sexuality, and most often lead to sex. Quite frankly, I think that all spankings between consenting adults are sexual in nature. They may supposedly be strictly for discipline, and they may be unpleasant, but the human tush is a major erogenous zone for adults. An activity such as spanking, which involves baring, presenting, and physically stimulating an erogenous zone, in close contact with another adult, frequently one with whom you are in a relationship with, will have a major sexual component.

15.Would you rather be spanked by a male or by a female?
Definitely female. I have only been spanked by a male once, in a situation where we were having an evening of spanking with another couple.

At my advanced age, I now really wish to be spanked by only one person, my lovely wife Angela. To show my shameless sexist nature, I could see myself spanking women other than Angela. But if I never spank anyone other than Angela, I will not be disappointed.

16.Would you rather be cuddled or scolded after your spanking?
Since spankings for us are sexual in nature and in practice, my strong preference would be to be cuddled.

That being said, in our case, after a spanking there is usually a great deal of moaning, grunting, and thrusting, with some occasional shouts or screams, depending on the proximity of other ears. Then we proceed to the cuddling.

The next post will spend a little time discussing spanking positions.

In case I don't address you before then, please have a safe, relaxing, and enjoyable Labor Day. Labor takes on a special importance this year, considering the large number of people at this time who are lacking in employment.

Wednesday, September 02, 2009


Dress Meme

Today's questions deal with clothing, or lack thereof, during a spanking.

11.Would you rather be spanked with pants up or pants down?
With my pants down. I've always felt that being spanked with one's pants up was more like a massage. The spanking doesn't really begin until the spanker declares, "Take down your pants!"

12.Would you rather be spanked with undies up or undies down?
Undies down. When the pants come down, the underpants should, too. I am an adult, after all, and adults should always be spanked on the bare bottom.

13.Would you rather be spanked somewhat clothed or entirely naked?
I'm sure that you are now assuming that, since I prefer my pants to be down, or even off, when I am spanked, the logical progression would be that I would prefer to be spanked naked. You would be wrong. To me, a spanking is more erotic when one is partially clothed.

So what would I consider the ideal dress code for a spanking? For Angela and I, the answer is for the spankee to be wearing a shirt and slippers. I've always thought this was a sexy look. Wearing the shirt tends to draw attention to one's ass, which, in a spanking, is the primary area of focus. Wearing the slippers has a more practical purpose, to keep from getting schmutz on your feet. The footwear often called "flip-flops" will also work in this scenario. Shoes are okay in a pinch, but don't wear socks. Wearing socks with no pants just looks silly and is not sexy in any way.

The "pants down" look is also
interesting, especially when the spanker is the one who lowers the trousers. Naturally, the pants must come down to the ankles, not just the knees. And in most cases, at some point during or after the spanking, the pants will come off.

A complementary question to this might be, "Do you prefer the person spanking you to be fully clothed, partially clothed, or completely naked?" While many spankos might be satisfied by answering "Yes" to that question, I, of course, wish to explore the issue further.
I prefer Angela to be wearing no pants when she spanks me. She has such a cute butt that it would be cruel to hide it from me during a spanking. Besides, when we are both not wearing pants, it makes it easier for us to switch roles, with the spanker becoming the spankee. It also makes it simpler to move from the spanking part of the session to the love making part.

In conclusion, I just think it would be a better world of everyone didn't wear pants. Since that currently is not socially acceptable, I'll take my pants off when I am spanked.

And (he says with an innocent grin), you should, too.

Tuesday, September 01, 2009


The Meme Continues

10. Would you rather have just a red bottom or welts/bruises?
In reality, I do not have a strong preference either way. I like a good, hard spanking, and it doesn't really matter what my butt looks like afterwards. However, since I am an imaginary spanko, I cannot accept reality. Additionally, I promised that I would choose one answer because to do otherwise would be cheating.

Therefore, I would rather have welts or bruises. The reason for this is that I like my spankings to be hard, and as stated before, I like to be spanked with a sturdy, wooden implement. With this combination, the harder I am spanked, the more likely it is that I will have marks on my behind after the spanking has concluded. Additionally, I do like to feel the soreness during the typical post-paddling sex, and also to linger into the next day. With a bruised butt, both of these scenarios are more likely. I will gladly take a nice, red butt on any day, but for a more satisfying spanking experience, I'd like to have some bruises.

11. Would you rather be spanked for the naughty things you have done or just because you enjoy the experience?
When you have been married as long as Angela and I have, "naughty" no longer seems relevant. Also, we do not use spankings for discipline. We spank because we enjoy the experience. Spanking is a big part of our sex life, and helps us feel emotionally close.

Having said that, it is always nice to find an excuse for a spanking. But real life (or in our case, imaginary life) failings are either entirely too trivial to warrant a spanking, or are serious and require discussion and effort to resolve. I would not want to spank Angela for misplacing her keys, and I do not wish to be spanked if I am not following through in my physical therapy.

Therefore, we have taken the path of making things up for which a spanking would be deserved. Angela is especially good at this. For instance, I was once given 100 swats with a bath brush for risking all of our savings. The reason I did this, sayeth Angela, was because I looked at a pretty girl with a nice bottom. As my darling wife's logic went, this girl was very good at reading facial expressions, so she would see me looking at her and know that I would imagine myself spanking her. She would then stalk me and secretly take my picture, use Photoshop to super-impose my face onto a picture of a man spanking a woman, post that picture on her Facebook page, and tell the entire world that I kidnap pretty girls and spank them. This would cause me to lose my job and be sued by the parents of my daughters' friends. I would have to use all of our savings to defend myself and clear my name, leaving us virtually homeless and penniless. So, for that, I was spanked.

I have also been spanked for:
So Angela and I spank each other because we enjoy the experience, but was also get spanked for the naughty things that we haven't done.

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