Thursday, January 18, 2007
Diamonds In The House
This weekend brings a gentleman’s gathering to the Spakowiak household. Now, those of you who think that the gentlemen to whom I am referring are beer-swilling, cigar-smoking, smut-watching, trash-talking, card-playing slobs are exactly correct. And Friday night, while the girls take over the guest house, eating popcorn and watching chick flicks (and the occasional Mel Gibson movie, the ones made before he became an arrogant, drunken, anti-Semite), us gentlemen will be swilling beer, smoking cigars, talking trash, and trying to take each other’s money in high-stakes, quarter-ante poker (no smut this time, sorry). We’ll also put away a couple of bottles of Pino Noir and a few shots of Drambouie. I’m a Spanko, after all, and my friends are beer-swilling, cigar-smoking, etc., gentlemen with class.
While Angela does not actually play cards, she does have a stake in the game, although not a specific financial stake. To be more specific, she has her ass on the line. Really. You see, if I come away from the game with a monetary gain, I get to paddle my dear wife’s cute butt. It is a standing bet that we have. The only downside to the deal is in the extremely unlikely event that I should lose money. In that case, it is my butt that is on the receiving end of the paddle.
So, after I come away from the game with the usual plentiful winnings, I shall spend said winnings on my darling wife, wining and dining her, perhaps seeing a movie or listening to some live music. Then we shall return to the homestead and slip into the guest house, where I shall make her take off her pants, and the rest of her clothes for good measure, bend her over with her hands on an ottoman, pick up my nice, shiny oak paddle, and turn her bottom a nice, bright shade of crimson. It will be a fantastic evening.
Perhaps, on another occasion, I’ll discuss what occurs on the odd occasion where I come away from the game with less money than when I started.
While Angela does not actually play cards, she does have a stake in the game, although not a specific financial stake. To be more specific, she has her ass on the line. Really. You see, if I come away from the game with a monetary gain, I get to paddle my dear wife’s cute butt. It is a standing bet that we have. The only downside to the deal is in the extremely unlikely event that I should lose money. In that case, it is my butt that is on the receiving end of the paddle.
So, after I come away from the game with the usual plentiful winnings, I shall spend said winnings on my darling wife, wining and dining her, perhaps seeing a movie or listening to some live music. Then we shall return to the homestead and slip into the guest house, where I shall make her take off her pants, and the rest of her clothes for good measure, bend her over with her hands on an ottoman, pick up my nice, shiny oak paddle, and turn her bottom a nice, bright shade of crimson. It will be a fantastic evening.
Perhaps, on another occasion, I’ll discuss what occurs on the odd occasion where I come away from the game with less money than when I started.
