Wednesday, April 25, 2007
Spring Cleaning, The Spanko Way
At my darling wife’s behest, last weekend I partook the effort to inventory our spanking implements. I knew that, over the years, that we had accumulated a considerable number of items whose sole purpose is to strike bottoms. However, as I gathered, sorted, and counted said items, I was surprised at the sheer quantity that we had acquired.
Now, these are not the only things that we have used for spanking. A fair number of household tools have been, on occasion, used to swat the behind of Angela or myself. The objects of my inventory, though, were those that were used exclusively for the sweet art of bottom chastisement.
So, what follows is a list of what our spanking implement collection contains, along with a count of each item. Any resemblance to a common Christmas carol is merely coincidence.
- 10 Wooden Paddles
- 9 Leather Straps
- 8 Hair and Bath Brushes
- 7 Canes and Rods
- 6 Belts
- 5 Riding Crops
- 4 Leather Paddles
- 3 Rubber Spankers
- 2 Plastic Paddles
- 1 Partridge in a Pear Tree
However, we have never used the partridge. That would upset the ASPCA, and I would never want to do that.
