Saturday, May 19, 2007
Frank Reveals Something Of Himself
As a way of having something mildly interesting on which to write without having to actually think up something original, today I have chosen one of the ubiquitous “memes” that are popular with bloggers in general. This particular segment involves supplying the answer to seven questions. Actually, not all seven are questions, although I shall, in proper Jeopardy fashion, attempt to rephrase them as such. Also, the last one is not actually a question, so I may perhaps substitute my own question. And now, without further ado……..
Question 1: What are three of the stupidest things you've done in your life?
1. At age 14, I followed the crowd and took a job in yard maintenance rather than continue my baseball career.
2. Getting stinking drunk and then driving home shortly after my youngest daughter was born.
3. In college, when the police broke up a rollicking block party which they said was “out of control”, I got into my friends car, started it up, and crashed it into a police vehicle.
Question 2: At the current moment, who has the most influence on your life?
Question 1: What are three of the stupidest things you've done in your life?
1. At age 14, I followed the crowd and took a job in yard maintenance rather than continue my baseball career.2. Getting stinking drunk and then driving home shortly after my youngest daughter was born.
3. In college, when the police broke up a rollicking block party which they said was “out of control”, I got into my friends car, started it up, and crashed it into a police vehicle.
Question 2: At the current moment, who has the most influence on your life?
In my world, my wife, Angela, and my two wonderful children. In your world, the guy who made me up and writes these missives.
Question 3: If you were given a time machine that functioned, and you were allowed to only pick five people to dine with, who would you pick?
1. Ben Franklin
2. Patrick, the Patron Saint of Ireland
3. Ernie Harwell (this is still possible since he still among the living, although I’m not sure that he would share a meal with an imaginary person, spanko or otherwise).
4. Jim Henson, creator of The Muppetts, the most truly creative person of our time.
5. My great, great, great grandmother, who, family legend has it, is where my spanko genes come from.
6. Should one of those people be otherwise engaged, H.G. Wells, since, after all, he did write The Time Machine.
Question 4: If you had three wishes that were not supernatural, what would they be?
Well, since wishes are, by definition, supernatural, this is an impossible question to answer. However, since I am imaginary, I am therefore allowed to do the impossible. So my wishes are:
1. That I could be a professional baseball player.
2. That World War II, the Plague, and AIDS all never happened.
3. That everyone was a spanko.
Question 5: Someone is visiting your hometown/place where you live at the moment. What two things do you regret your city not having, and what two things should people avoid?
Two things my city does not have:
1. A good place to get a beer and a burger at 1 am in the morning.
2. A decent science museum.
People should avoid:
1. The shopping district. All chain stores and chain restaurants.
2. The bars where the college students frequent in large numbers.
Question 6: Name one event that has changed your life.
Isn’t it obvious?
Question 7: Question seven, in previous versions that I have witnessed, is not a question but rather a request to tag five other people. Since imaginary people cannot tag real people, I will instead substitute my own question:
Question 7, substitute: What famous person, living or dead, do you think would make a good spanko, and would you prefer they be a spanker or a spankee?
I think that Joan Crawford would have made an excellent spanker. She certainly had a dominant personality, and one can imagine her wielding a paddle or a belt with glee. She would not, however, ever use a wire hanger, contrary to legend.
There. Now you know a little more about Francis Spakowiak. You are welcome to use these questions as a way of providing material for your own blog when you are having difficulty determining a fantastic original idea.
