Wednesday, December 24, 2008
A Spanko Christmas Carole
Rather than continue with tales of the trials and tribulations of the Spanko household, I thought that I’d offer something that combines the warmth of the imminent holidays with the warmth of a spanking. Thus, as my Christmas present to you, allow me to present a classic holiday song that I just made up. Yes, it is a riff on a Christmas standard, something that has been done a thousand times on a thousand spanking blogs. However, this one will have the added benefit of your basic Fantastic Spanking twist. If you do not partake in Christmas celebrations, please consider this a friendship gift.
Rupert The Red-Bunned Reindeer
Rupert the red-bunned reindeer
Had a very shiny tush
And if you ever saw it
It would surely make you blush
All of the other reindeer
Used to laugh at Rupert’s buns
They never let poor Rupert
Join in any Reindeer fun
Then one foggy Christmas Eve
Santa came to say
“Rupert with your butt so bright
Won’t you guide my sleigh tonight?”
At this point in our song, it is necessary to pause and offer a bit of an explanation. As you’ve undoubtedly ascertained by now, Rupert’s butt was red because he was a spanko. Please don’t ask how a reindeer could be a spanko, just go with it. I promise that I won’t ask you how reindeer can fly. In any event, Rupert enjoyed the fine art of spanking, and would partake in said spankings with his elfen friend and fellow spanko, Mimi. Of course, since reindeer do not wear clothes, after a session with Mimi, Rupert’s red bottom would be on display for all to see. Since Rupert was something of an outsider, anyway, this fact did not bother him. Also, since Rupert was a Christmas reindeer, his butt didn’t just redden, it would glow like a beacon. After an especially good spanking, Rupert’s butt could be seen for miles.
On the particular Christmas Eve in question, apparently Rudolf was suffering from a severe head cold. This caused the glow of his red nose to dwindle until it was barely lit. Santa went looking for a replacement, and then saw Rupert’s red buns lighting up the horizon. He summoned Rupert and asked if he would like to lead his team. Rupert naturally was honored, and agreed immediately.
So all of the reindeer were hitched to Santa’s sleigh, with Rupert at the head. There was a problem, however. Since it was Rupert’s butt that provided the illumination, he would have to fly backwards. After several attempts at takeoff, which all ended in near-catastrophic crashes, Santa realized that reindeer were not designed to fly backwards. Suddenly, Christmas was in jeopardy. Fortunately, Mimi, being the elf that she was, had a solution. The other eight reindeer were perfectly capable of pulling the sleigh, they simply needed Rupert for the light. So Mimi devised a sling that would hang below the sleigh that Rupert could comfortably dangle from, ass first. Thus the glowing rump was facing forward, providing the proper lighting.
As the team began to take off for their yearly trip, they realized that they had another problem. Rupert’s butt had begun to fade. Just like any spanked bottom, the redness will eventually go away. But Mimi had a solution for that, too. She disappeared and then returned moments later holding her trusty paddle. She jumped on Rupert’s back, facing his tail, and smacked him on his ass. The brilliant glow returned. Santa would be able to safely navigate the globe, delivering toys to all of the good little boys and girls. Rupert and Mimi had saved Christmas!
Then all the reindeer loved him
As they shouted out with class,
“Rupert the red-bunned reindeer,
Saving Christmas with his Ass!”
It must have been quite a sight, seeing Santa Claus flying through the air, being capably pulled by eight flying reindeer, with a ninth dangling from beneath the sled, ridden by a girl elf, backside glowing like a lantern. The periodic CRACK! sound heard that night would have been Mimi’s paddle landing on Rupert’s haunches, keeping the guiding light shining.
It is not known if Rupert was a part of Santa’s deliveries for more than that one year, nor is it clearly understood why Rupert’s butt was immortalized in song but Mimi was not. But, since Christmas is a mystical and magical time, especially for children, those trivialities are not important.
The only important thing was that, thanks to Rupert, everyone had a fantastic Christmas.
Whether or not Rupert, Rudolf, Olive, or any other extra reindeer fly this year, on behalf of all of us at Fantastic Spanking, please have a safe, peaceful, and joyous holiday season. I wish all of you the gift of Fantastic Spankings now and throughout 2009 as well.
Rupert The Red-Bunned Reindeer
Rupert the red-bunned reindeer
Had a very shiny tush
And if you ever saw it
It would surely make you blush
All of the other reindeer
Used to laugh at Rupert’s buns
They never let poor Rupert
Join in any Reindeer fun
Then one foggy Christmas Eve
Santa came to say
“Rupert with your butt so bright
Won’t you guide my sleigh tonight?”
At this point in our song, it is necessary to pause and offer a bit of an explanation. As you’ve undoubtedly ascertained by now, Rupert’s butt was red because he was a spanko. Please don’t ask how a reindeer could be a spanko, just go with it. I promise that I won’t ask you how reindeer can fly. In any event, Rupert enjoyed the fine art of spanking, and would partake in said spankings with his elfen friend and fellow spanko, Mimi. Of course, since reindeer do not wear clothes, after a session with Mimi, Rupert’s red bottom would be on display for all to see. Since Rupert was something of an outsider, anyway, this fact did not bother him. Also, since Rupert was a Christmas reindeer, his butt didn’t just redden, it would glow like a beacon. After an especially good spanking, Rupert’s butt could be seen for miles.
On the particular Christmas Eve in question, apparently Rudolf was suffering from a severe head cold. This caused the glow of his red nose to dwindle until it was barely lit. Santa went looking for a replacement, and then saw Rupert’s red buns lighting up the horizon. He summoned Rupert and asked if he would like to lead his team. Rupert naturally was honored, and agreed immediately.
So all of the reindeer were hitched to Santa’s sleigh, with Rupert at the head. There was a problem, however. Since it was Rupert’s butt that provided the illumination, he would have to fly backwards. After several attempts at takeoff, which all ended in near-catastrophic crashes, Santa realized that reindeer were not designed to fly backwards. Suddenly, Christmas was in jeopardy. Fortunately, Mimi, being the elf that she was, had a solution. The other eight reindeer were perfectly capable of pulling the sleigh, they simply needed Rupert for the light. So Mimi devised a sling that would hang below the sleigh that Rupert could comfortably dangle from, ass first. Thus the glowing rump was facing forward, providing the proper lighting.
As the team began to take off for their yearly trip, they realized that they had another problem. Rupert’s butt had begun to fade. Just like any spanked bottom, the redness will eventually go away. But Mimi had a solution for that, too. She disappeared and then returned moments later holding her trusty paddle. She jumped on Rupert’s back, facing his tail, and smacked him on his ass. The brilliant glow returned. Santa would be able to safely navigate the globe, delivering toys to all of the good little boys and girls. Rupert and Mimi had saved Christmas!
Then all the reindeer loved him
As they shouted out with class,
“Rupert the red-bunned reindeer,
Saving Christmas with his Ass!”
It must have been quite a sight, seeing Santa Claus flying through the air, being capably pulled by eight flying reindeer, with a ninth dangling from beneath the sled, ridden by a girl elf, backside glowing like a lantern. The periodic CRACK! sound heard that night would have been Mimi’s paddle landing on Rupert’s haunches, keeping the guiding light shining.
It is not known if Rupert was a part of Santa’s deliveries for more than that one year, nor is it clearly understood why Rupert’s butt was immortalized in song but Mimi was not. But, since Christmas is a mystical and magical time, especially for children, those trivialities are not important.
The only important thing was that, thanks to Rupert, everyone had a fantastic Christmas.
Whether or not Rupert, Rudolf, Olive, or any other extra reindeer fly this year, on behalf of all of us at Fantastic Spanking, please have a safe, peaceful, and joyous holiday season. I wish all of you the gift of Fantastic Spankings now and throughout 2009 as well.
