Monday, October 05, 2009
On Power And Limits
I apologize for the delay in the resumption of my answers to the spanking preferences meme. Angela and I took an impromptu driving trip and were away for several days. Henceforth, I shall endeavor to finish the meme with regular posts.
30.Would you rather be forced into a spanking or willingly submit into a spanking?
If by forced, the question means physically grabbed and held down, then my answer is that I would rather willingly submit. For adults in a spanko-sexual relationship, the submission if a significant part of the fun. Additionally, Angela and I are not into exerting physical power over each other.
31.Would you rather have a safe word or be pushed beyond your preconceived limits?
This is a very difficult question for me. Clearly, I like to have my limits pushed. Angela knows my limits quite well, and she knows how and to what extent to push them. I think for someone in a longer-term spanking relationship, this is probably the case. In fact, Angela and I have never employed a safe word. We have always known each other well enough to know when "Stop" means keep going and when "Stop" means STOP! I have written about this in the past.
Furthermore, Angela is, for a lady, quite tall and quite strong, and I am certainly no milquetoast. If either of us felt that we were being spanked beyond our limits and the other did not agree, we would be able to free ourselves rather easily. Even when we employ some form of restraints, they are usually not so sturdy that they could not be broken out of should we wish to do so.
However, for a more petite person, being spanked by someone much stronger, a safe word seems quite necessary, especially if the two people are not well acquainted. If some likes crying or loud screams, a spanker may not have a clear understanding of when someone has been pushed beyond their tolerance. Further, if the pain becomes too intense, the excitement or pleasure of the ordeal may be overtaken by something much more akin to panic or stark fear. These are the kinds of emotions that are not easily shaken off. Indeed, someone pushed beyond their limits can experience panic attacks, nightmares, may pull back when relationships begin to get close, or may suffer depression. So safe words need to be agreed upon and employed so that there is no misunderstanding between the spanker and spankee that could lead serious problems.
For me, I want to push MYSELF beyond my limits. I don't want my spanker to do that. So, upon reflection, and even though Angela and I have never formally agreed upon one, I would want a safe word, or at least an understanding of when I am in true distress.
Indeed, although we have never formally agreed to one, I have a very clear safe word, or in my case a safe phrase, and I have employed it on the rare occasion. It is not a phrase that I normally use when enjoying a spanking. When I issue forth this utterance, Angela knows to pause and check with me to see if I wish to continue and to stop if that is my wish.
My phrase is,
30.Would you rather be forced into a spanking or willingly submit into a spanking?
If by forced, the question means physically grabbed and held down, then my answer is that I would rather willingly submit. For adults in a spanko-sexual relationship, the submission if a significant part of the fun. Additionally, Angela and I are not into exerting physical power over each other.
31.Would you rather have a safe word or be pushed beyond your preconceived limits?
This is a very difficult question for me. Clearly, I like to have my limits pushed. Angela knows my limits quite well, and she knows how and to what extent to push them. I think for someone in a longer-term spanking relationship, this is probably the case. In fact, Angela and I have never employed a safe word. We have always known each other well enough to know when "Stop" means keep going and when "Stop" means STOP! I have written about this in the past.
Furthermore, Angela is, for a lady, quite tall and quite strong, and I am certainly no milquetoast. If either of us felt that we were being spanked beyond our limits and the other did not agree, we would be able to free ourselves rather easily. Even when we employ some form of restraints, they are usually not so sturdy that they could not be broken out of should we wish to do so.
However, for a more petite person, being spanked by someone much stronger, a safe word seems quite necessary, especially if the two people are not well acquainted. If some likes crying or loud screams, a spanker may not have a clear understanding of when someone has been pushed beyond their tolerance. Further, if the pain becomes too intense, the excitement or pleasure of the ordeal may be overtaken by something much more akin to panic or stark fear. These are the kinds of emotions that are not easily shaken off. Indeed, someone pushed beyond their limits can experience panic attacks, nightmares, may pull back when relationships begin to get close, or may suffer depression. So safe words need to be agreed upon and employed so that there is no misunderstanding between the spanker and spankee that could lead serious problems.
For me, I want to push MYSELF beyond my limits. I don't want my spanker to do that. So, upon reflection, and even though Angela and I have never formally agreed upon one, I would want a safe word, or at least an understanding of when I am in true distress.
Indeed, although we have never formally agreed to one, I have a very clear safe word, or in my case a safe phrase, and I have employed it on the rare occasion. It is not a phrase that I normally use when enjoying a spanking. When I issue forth this utterance, Angela knows to pause and check with me to see if I wish to continue and to stop if that is my wish.
My phrase is,
"HOLY FUCK!"
