Saturday, February 13, 2010
Five Rings Reappear
We were blessed with about a foot of snow earlier this week. So it must be the perfect time for the Winter Olympics to begin.
Except that there seems to be no snow in Vancouver.
I heard somewhere that Vancouver officials were having snow flown in from other parts of North America. I tried to contact them and let them know that they were welcome to all of our snow. I'd even help load it up for them. Give me a really big snow plow and I'll push the white stuff all the way to the airport, right up to the cargo plane. I'll be happy to work until all of our snow is on its way to Canada for all of the fine skiers gathering there.
Unfortunately, I could not get through to the proper Olympic snow authorities. Sometimes there are disadvantages to being imaginary.
Instead, for the next tw
o weeks, I shall plant my tushie in front of the television and absorb as much of the competition as possible. Last night, the plan was simple. At precisely 8 pm, I would have a fresh batch of warm chocolate cookies ready, along with a big bowl of popcorn and a nice hot pot of tea. I would seat myself on my comfy chair in the living room in front of our 32-inch flat screen (but not flat panel ... I think mine still has a better picture) television, fire the TV up, and enjoy the Opening Ceremonies, complete with the Parade of Nations and the lighting of the Olympic Torch.
All was in readiness. I had my favorite blanket and I was all set to ensconce myself for a night of viewing. Suddenly there appeared my daughter Colette, and her boyfriend and current house resident, Luke. Colette was wearing her patented puppy-dog sad face, which she used when ever she really, reeeee-ally wanted something.
"Daddy," she said in a small, little girl voice, "can Luke and I pleeeease watch Survivor?" She stuck out her lower lip on her best "I am the cutest girl in the world" pout.
I almost always fall for Colette's puppy-dog face. In truth, most of the things that she really, reeeeeeally wants are perfectly reasonable. Once she asked for a rather expensive set of reference books. How can one turn down books? Another time she asked for a new dress for a wedding that the family was attending. She looked adorable in that dress.
This time, however, I thought I smelled a rat.
I stared at Colette for a few seconds whilst she held that perfect little pout. Then I saw the corner of her mouth twitch just a bit. I glanced at Luke, who was looking distinctly uncomfortable. Then I got it.
"Young lady," I calmly said, "you know that I have never spanked you.. But you're not too old for your first one."
At that point, everyone broke out in uproarious laughter. It was a fine act, and they had me fooled for a moment, but I quickly realized that the family was just pulling my proverbial chain. Indeed, it was Angela who had put Colette up to the gag.
Angela will definitely be spanked for that later.
The ceremonies ran until well after midnight. The youngsters faded early, so it was just Angela and I snuggled up under a blanket at the end. Angela had earlier donned her favorite warm, soft flannel nightgown, however as we lay under the blanket, she said that she had become too hot and decided to take the nightgown off.
The Olympics and a naked wife. It made for a fantastic night.
Except that there seems to be no snow in Vancouver.
I heard somewhere that Vancouver officials were having snow flown in from other parts of North America. I tried to contact them and let them know that they were welcome to all of our snow. I'd even help load it up for them. Give me a really big snow plow and I'll push the white stuff all the way to the airport, right up to the cargo plane. I'll be happy to work until all of our snow is on its way to Canada for all of the fine skiers gathering there.
Unfortunately, I could not get through to the proper Olympic snow authorities. Sometimes there are disadvantages to being imaginary.
Instead, for the next tw
o weeks, I shall plant my tushie in front of the television and absorb as much of the competition as possible. Last night, the plan was simple. At precisely 8 pm, I would have a fresh batch of warm chocolate cookies ready, along with a big bowl of popcorn and a nice hot pot of tea. I would seat myself on my comfy chair in the living room in front of our 32-inch flat screen (but not flat panel ... I think mine still has a better picture) television, fire the TV up, and enjoy the Opening Ceremonies, complete with the Parade of Nations and the lighting of the Olympic Torch.All was in readiness. I had my favorite blanket and I was all set to ensconce myself for a night of viewing. Suddenly there appeared my daughter Colette, and her boyfriend and current house resident, Luke. Colette was wearing her patented puppy-dog sad face, which she used when ever she really, reeeee-ally wanted something.
"Daddy," she said in a small, little girl voice, "can Luke and I pleeeease watch Survivor?" She stuck out her lower lip on her best "I am the cutest girl in the world" pout.
I almost always fall for Colette's puppy-dog face. In truth, most of the things that she really, reeeeeeally wants are perfectly reasonable. Once she asked for a rather expensive set of reference books. How can one turn down books? Another time she asked for a new dress for a wedding that the family was attending. She looked adorable in that dress.
This time, however, I thought I smelled a rat.
I stared at Colette for a few seconds whilst she held that perfect little pout. Then I saw the corner of her mouth twitch just a bit. I glanced at Luke, who was looking distinctly uncomfortable. Then I got it.
"Young lady," I calmly said, "you know that I have never spanked you.. But you're not too old for your first one."
At that point, everyone broke out in uproarious laughter. It was a fine act, and they had me fooled for a moment, but I quickly realized that the family was just pulling my proverbial chain. Indeed, it was Angela who had put Colette up to the gag.
Angela will definitely be spanked for that later.
The ceremonies ran until well after midnight. The youngsters faded early, so it was just Angela and I snuggled up under a blanket at the end. Angela had earlier donned her favorite warm, soft flannel nightgown, however as we lay under the blanket, she said that she had become too hot and decided to take the nightgown off.
The Olympics and a naked wife. It made for a fantastic night.
