Friday, April 16, 2010
Spankings Solve Everything
Fortunately, with my looks, I don't often have that problem.
However, the other day I was having lunch with a younger former co-worker. He confided to me that he was afraid his wife might be think of asking for a divorce. When I asked why, he told me that his better half had become rather uninteresting in bed. I believe the phrase he used was "cold fish." He went on to say that he thought his spouse had lost interest in him and was thus not anxious to engage in sexual relations.
Since I really did not give the proverbial rat's ass about his marital problems or his sex life, I tried several different approaches to change the subject to one more insubstantial, but this gentleman seemed to think that I was a font of advice and was desirous of sharing it. So, after listening to him whine for several more minutes, I told him that perhaps their sex life had become rather boring.
"But we've had sex the same way for years and she always enjoyed it!" was his response.
"Did your wife's disinterest seem to happen suddenly or has her libido gradually waned?" I asked.
"Well ... I'm not sure...".
So not only was this person boring, but he was clueless. So I suggested the one thing that all Spankos offer to spice up lovemaking.
"Why don't you try spanking her," I said.
My lunch partner was aghast. "Won't that hurt her?" her asked.
"Probably," I responded, "but maybe she'll like it."
After a period of refreshing, if awkward, silence, during which he mulled over my advice, he hesitantly said that he might give spanking a try. Truthfully, I thought this guy was more likely to be spanked than to give a spanking, but I wanted to move the conversation past his problems, so I let it go. We finished our lunch and went our own ways.
Later that day, I related our conversation to Angela. "Good answer," was her response. I thought she was being sarcastic.
"No, seriously, Frank, that was a good answer. If this guy's wife is bored in bed, anything he does to take charge and change things up will probably turn her on."
A few days later, my friend called me to relate what had happened, even though I had forgotten about our earlier discussion and didn't really care anyway.
Apparently, when my he went home that night, he asked his wife to come to the bedroom where he wanted to talk to her. He nervously told her that she had been bad and he was going to spank her. He took hold of her arm and pulled her over his lap, then tentatively patted her bottom a couple of times. He then proceeded to confess that he was afraid that she wanted to leave him and that he'd do anything so that she'd remain his wife. This little whiny disclosure somewhat irritated his wife, who responded be telling him:
"Will you just stop your complaining and spank me already!!"
My friend reacted by whacking her butt, rather hard, several times. He said that he was shocked at his actions, and started to apologize when his wife said, "I dare you to try that again!" He took the dare.
To make a long story less long, they proceeded to engage in an exuberant, naked romp. Afterwards, he told her how much he admired his wife's red butt, and she admitted that she liked the warm feeling that remained on her cheeks. After some cuddling, they romped again. Now, he said, if either of them even hints at spanking, they both get so aroused that they practically run right to the bedroom.
I was going to tell him that it might be fun if they didn't bother with the bedroom, but I figured that I'd save that one for the next person who needed advice about their sex life.
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